The situation was intolerable.
Worse than when I rushed off to go hiking in Montenegro after ignoring the matter for weeks. The sweat and friction from my wide hat magnified the nuisance until I used the tiny scissors from my first aid kit as a palliative. When I finally got to a barber in Podgorica, he commented about the quick and dirty chops around the ears, and I shrugged sheepishly. We do what we must!
As for the results? I didn't think much of style in boot camp, and fourteen years hasn't improved it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯